Everybody wants to be happy, right?
The pursuit of happiness has been ingrained into our minds as the ultimate goal. Above everything else, everything we do should make us happy.
However, this approach might be counterproductive.
For example, Emily Esfahani Smith proposes in her book, The Power of Meaning, that happiness may be a distraction from finding meaning.
Happiness Is Not The Same As Meaning
There are differences between a happy and meaningful life.
Happiness refers more directly to personal gratification. It’s what we get from others or our environment that satisfy us. Binge watching a show or partying with friends might gratify us to make us happy for a moment, but those actions don’t require us to give anything in return.
In contrast, meaning refers to what we give to others. It’s our contribution to a cause, a community, a family, or any other group outside ourselves. Volunteering, taking care of family, being kind to others, and even simple actions like active listening can turn an interaction into an opportunity to give.
Does that mean happiness is selfish or bad? Not necessarily. However, in order to live a more fulfilling life, you must take into account meaning and human connection.
When you give, you give your life meaning. Which, in turn, contributes to making your life more fulfilling.
But how does giving improve your life?
You Make Connections
When you commit to a cause larger than yourself, you are creating a network. In turn, this network feeds the reason why you take action, and it also provides support for you.
Let’s say you volunteer at an animal shelter. You do it because you believe animals should be treated humanely, with compassion and love. So, you follow through with your core beliefs and give your time and energy to this cause.
In return, you get to see how the lives of the animals improve. Perhaps some are cured of diseases or adopted thanks to your efforts. You might also help educate your community about the right treatment of animals, which will also help animals live happier lives free of abuse.
If you hold these beliefs, reaching these goals can easily make you feel good about yourself. However, you also get to know more people who share your values and goals — other volunteers, veterinaries, rescuers, animal lovers looking to adoptive parents and children.
In addition, as you can see, your actions impact your community. You’re not alone. This sense of community and company is vital to feeling useful and with a purpose.
This connection is something that technology cannot give us.
Social media and other technologies claim to make us more connected, but they work specifically to gratify us. While they might be useful in some cases, excessive use of social media has been linked to depression.
Build Something Long-Term
Finally, when you give, you help build something bigger than yourself. It is connected to your intrinsic values, shared by others and that will be continued by others after you’re gone.
Often, contributing to a cause is a way for people to deal with the temporary nature of life. Therefore, in aligning your intrinsic values and beliefs with a mission and the discipline to follow through, you link your life to something that might go on even after you’re no longer a part of it.
In this holiday season, we often think about what happened in our lives in the past year. Sometimes we even make resolutions to create positive changes in our lives, to be happier, healthier, to use our time better.
However, we can find fulfillment and improvement in giving to others. This way, our lives take a new meaning — one of connectedness, kindness, and compassion.
– Scott Blessing