Category: EQ3 – ARTICLES – JR

Women have the distinct honor of needing to talk about their feelings. Women are more likely to share what it is they are thinking or feeling than the opposite gender. Women prefer to examine their thoughts aloud with parties that are willing to interpret or hear what it is they are experiencing. Some are seeking feedback from the listening party, while others merely want a sounding board.
Could it be that they have a more intuitive sense of the advantages that accompany talking about how you feel? Is there some degree of gender-bias that may subconsciously prevent men from allowing themselves to be too expressive about their feelings?
Men tend to keep their emotions securely locked away. Some may not know what they are feeling and at the least sign of weakness, they go as far as to stifle those unfamiliar feelings. Also, men may elect to busy themselves to distract their attention away from those emotions not realizing that suppressing those feelings can later lead to a dangerous breakdown, outburst or harmful behavior to self or others. Women, on the other hand, can be a bit more transparent with their emotions and in some instances to their own peril.
These differences between the sexes are thought to be the result of gender role socialization. Gender role terminology refers to a range of attitudes and behaviors that society deems as being acceptable or desirable based on an individual’s sex. Gender role socialization occurs as a result of men and women receiving guidance from a young age to behave in ways that are specific to their gender. These lessons are taught via multiple sources including parents, school, peers, media and other influential channels.
Are there biological differences between men and women? The answer to this question varies depending on the researcher you ask.
Advantages of Talking about Your Feelings
There are several benefits of talking about your feelings and studies show that women are reaping the benefits of being emotionally expressive. The emotional expression can boost your well-being –particularly if you are experiencing stress. Women are notorious for expressing their emotions to cope with problems that impact them directly. As a result, they often report improvements in the level of satisfaction after sharing their feelings, unlike their male counterparts who do not cope in the same way as women.
One study found that men with a diagnosis of cancer who were not likely to express themselves experienced far greater distress. Women who dealt with advanced breast cancer for an average of three years had an increase in emotionally expressive coping and this in turn improved symptoms of depression and overall life satisfaction.
Giving meaning to what it is you might be feeling through words has the power to reduce the intensity of that emotion. Another advantage of expressing your feelings is that it can help to expedite the receiving party’s awareness and understanding of your innermost thoughts and interpretations of the events unfolding.
Next, talking about your feelings can allow you to move closer to a specific goal. For example, if you are experiencing feelings of anger, you may begin to identify the cause of that anger and what is necessary to move past it.
Finally, perhaps one of the most significant advantages of expressing emotions is that this action may serve to enhance relationships and improve the social atmosphere within which we find ourselves moving.
In Summary
In summary, women have an instinct to talk about their feelings. It is important to note that these statements are based on research findings. These findings are not applicable across the board, however, in several instances, they continue to prove accurate. Sharing your feelings does offer a wide variety of advantages that should not be overlooked no matter your gender.

– Scott Blessing

It’s normal to let our emotions get the best of sometimes because after all, we are human beings. However, our emotions can cause a lot of problems for us if we don’t learn to understand and manage them.
We can either use our emotions for good or we can fall apart… let’s not have that happen.
Well, if you want to learn how to understand your emotions, you’ll need to make some changes. But the good thing is, these changes will allow you to experience your emotions without them having them control you.

What Do Our Emotions Mean?
Our emotions are an emotional response to external circumstances. When we’re sad, it’s because some experience has caused this. Same thing when we’re angry or happy. Our minds create a reality for us and we respond accordingly.

Why do people not understand their emotions if it’s such a simple concept?…
No one said emotions weren’t extremely powerful and tough to manage. In fact, our minds are one of the most powerful things we own. We learn cognitive behavior from the world around us, and some research has even concluded that we are not innately emotional beings but our environmental factors influence the cognitive function of experiencing emotions.

How Can We Get A Better Understanding of Our Emotions?
Let’s learn about how to understand your emotional experiences. Emotions mean we are aware of our surroundings. It means we notice when something makes us feel a certain way.
When we take our emotions and express them through our words and actions, we are learning to have emotional regulation through emotion-relations, which allow most people to develop better social skills as a result.
Emotions heavily influence our decision-making ability and are even dominant drivers for our decisions. Our decisions can cause us to be fearful, depressed, optimistic etc.
If we can understand that emotions should not influence your decisions, then you’ll better be able to manage them. If we acted on every emotion we had, we’d be a mess and likely would not get anywhere in life.

So what do we need to do to manage our emotions?
• Practice some sort of meditation.
• Embrace meaningful relationships and be open to learning from people who are mentally strong.
• Think before you act or speak
• Get a journal and write down how you react to daily situations.
• Talk with a therapist
If you make the habit of being aware of your emotions a daily thing, you’ll soon have control over them. Emotions don’t have to dictate how we react to certain situations and they don’t have to define us.
They are simply emotions… but if you want to manage them better than spend more time with yourself. Meditate and take time to breathe and practice getting to know yourself.
Thinking before you act is a great way to think whether a decision is rational or not, and writing down your behaviors can allow you to go back and tackle problem areas. If you must see a therapist, then don’t be afraid to do so.
Some techniques like CBT can really help with managing and understanding your emotions.
Emotions Are Created By Your perception of Reality and Your Responses to Circumstances
Learn to understand how your mind functions. We are human beings and emotions are completely normal. Although we cannot avoid all emotions, we can control how we respond to situations.
The best to do is to tackle your emotions when you’re in the moment and you can rewire your brain to react to stimuli differently.
Remember, you are in control of your emotions and it’s your responsibility to understand and manage them. Lifestyle changes might be necessary but you’ll be happier and more mentally strong.

– Scott Blessing

There is a strong bond between what you are feeling versus what transpires throughout the body. People who find healthy ways to cope with emotional problems are likely not to have the same issues with their physical wellness as those who do not protect their emotional wellness.

Your Emotional Health
According to the 2016 Help Guide, emotionally healthy people are content, have control of their emotions, manage stress easily and have a clear sense of their purpose in life. They are open to learning new things and have an exceptional work-life balance in play. Think of your emotional health as falling into two main categories: positive emotions and negative emotions. Examples of positive emotions include joy, happiness, hope, pride, and inspiration. Examples of negative emotions include anxiety, guilt, shame, sadness, and anger.
Ideally, when we are at the height of positive emotions, we can function at optimal levels.

Risks to Your Emotional Health
Unfortunately, very few of us can cruise along without experiencing some disruption to clear blue waters and calm seas of life. Familydoctor.org identifies the following as examples of episodes or life changes that can have a detrimental effect on our emotional health:
• Loss of a loved one
• Job loss or;
• Starting a new career
• Starting or expanding your family
• Relocation to a new city or state
• Divorce or separation
• Illness or injury
• Financial problems

How Emotions Affect Your Physical Health
Your body’s instinct is to compensate for how you are feeling. When you are afraid or excited, you might feel your heart rate speed up. When you are sad, you might notice that your body feels rife with exhaustion and fatigue. Prolonged exposure to stress can cause your blood pressure may rise and remain elevated and may prove damaging to your heart and kidney functions.

Tips for Improving Your Emotional Health
To prevent your emotions from harming your physical health, familydoctor.org suggests there are several actions you may deploy to improve your emotional health.

Regulate Your Emotions and Response. The first tip may be easier said than done, but you improve your emotional health by first taking control of your emotions and how it is you respond to others. Keep an eye out for cues that trigger specific emotions including happiness, joy, sadness, anger, and frustration.
Try to Keep the Glass Half Full. Do not miss the chance to identify the things that are good about your life or a particular situation. No one is suggesting that you will always be able to exist in a happy bubble. However, you should challenge yourself to see the glass as being half-full for the sake of your emotional health.
Be Honest about Your Feelings. Don’t hold your emotions back. Tell others what you are feeling and what is explicitly prompting your response. Keeping your feelings to yourself will create problems in the relationship.

Control Stress. Stress can be a hidden culprit that lays deep within your emotions. You might consider regularly practicing mindful meditation to help you become more aware and astute about navigating both positive and negative responses.

Find Balance. Do what is necessary to live a balanced life. Look for ways to not ruminate about what is wrong. Toiling around in negativity will lead to emotions that are physically draining. Studies show that if you allow yourself to bask in positivity, your quality of life will improve ten-fold.
Do Not Underestimate the Power of Sleep. Do not cheat yourself of a good night’s rest. We often underestimate the vital role that sleep can play in our emotional, physical and mental health. Set a goal for yourself to achieve a minimum of seven to eight hours of sleep each night. It will amaze you the difference a few additional hours of shuteye can make in your emotional wellness.

Purpose and Meaning. What’s your purpose and how are you using it? If you do not know your meaning in life, its time for you determines what that purpose may be. Your purpose can come from any facet of your life including religion, family, work, or even a hobby. Many people find their purpose in volunteer work. Ultimately, your goal should be to identify the thing (s) that bring a sense of purpose and meaning.

In Summary
In summary, your emotional health is critical for your physical wellness. If you are experiencing problems emotionally that you are not able to manage independently, you should obtain the help of a professional who can assist in treating you. It is entirely possible that you may have a chemical imbalance in the brain that may disrupt both your physical and mental health. A professional can assist you in identifying the best possible treatment options.

– Scott Blessing

We all have goals we want to achieve in life. Unfortunately, we also all have roadblocks that keep us from achieving them, as well. For some, these roadblocks function as a convenient excuse to not risk trying. Getting past this can be challenging, but it’s not impossible and it’s crucial to developing and growing in life.

There are many ways to break this bad habit. In this article, we’ll explore a few ways you can work past it, but it’s important to note that if these don’t work for you, there are other methods out there you can try.

1) Stop Making Excuses
Oftentimes, we’re our own biggest roadblock. Whether it’s due to the fear of failure or your own insecurities, people have a tendency to make excuses, allowing themselves to get in their own way.

It’s time to stop hunting for a convenient excuse and address the real issue.

Rather than making an excuse to not try, examine why it is you’re apprehensive to go for your goals. Make lists of why you deserve to achieve them and remind yourself regularly that failure is just a learning opportunity.

As Babe Ruth once said, “Never let the fear of striking you out keep you from playing the game.”

2) Don’t Let Anyone Hold You Back
Everyone has had at least one friend in their life that has tried to have them back. Sometimes these methods can be extremely subtle, making them hard to pick up on.

You need to pay attention if you suspect a friend is holding you back, so you can cut them out before it’s too late.

There are a few reasons why people might do this.

1) Jealousy – They want what you have.
2) Power – They want to keep you from achieving your goals to ensure you don’t show them up.
3) Fear of losing your friendship – While the reasoning here is sweet in nature, the actions are controlling. They are afraid that achieving your goals will advance you out of their reach. This could also be caused by jealousy; they don’t want you spending time without them.

If you start to suspect this behavior, it’s time to either start a dialogue or cut that person out, depending on the severity.

3) Toughen Up
Achieving your goals isn’t always easy and sometimes you will fail. It’s easy to get discouraged by failure, and many use it as a convenient excuse to no longer try, but you can’t let that stop you from achieving your goals.

When someone offers you constructive criticism or you fail, you can’t let it get to you, hurting your feelings and keeping you from trying again. You have to toughen up and keep moving forward.

4) Be ready for Any Opportunity
One obstacle you may often find along your path to achieving your goals is missing out on important opportunities because you weren’t prepared. You have to be ready to pounce on any opportunity that comes your way. After all, they don’t come around all that often and they typically have a time limit.

Make sure you’re always prepared and willing to seize any opportunity that comes your way. After all, they don’t come around all that often and they typically have a time limit. Make sure you’re always prepared and willing to seize any opportunity that comes your way the moment it does.

5) Don’t Let Others Affect You Achieving Your Goals
We, as people, tend to put too much stock in what others think about us and say to us. While some friends may try to hold you back from achieving their goals, others can keep you from it by merely being overly negative about it or convincing you it’s a bad idea.

If you want to achieve your goals, you have to push past what others say and do what you know to be right. In order to achieve your goals, you can’t listen to the negativity of others or their views. You have to take the path that’s right for you, and no one knows that path better than you.

We all have goals we’d like to achieve and the steps we intend to take to achieve them. Roadblocks often block our path towards achieving our goals, but they aren’t impossible to get past. We hope this article has helped in eliminating some of the roadblocks along your journey to achieving your goals.

– Scott Blessing

It’s a serious question… some people are just so darn grouchy. Now, it’s understandable to be grouchy once in a while because life will really bring it out of you. However, if you’re a lifelong grouch then something needs to be done.
Life is what you make it and people who are grouchy, are often dissatisfied with some aspect/s of life. The thing is, most grouchy people probably don’t think there’s anything wrong with having such a onery attitude.
The truth is, nobody likes to be around a grouch (Have you watched the Grinch?) and if you believe you have grouch-like qualities, then maybe you should consider fixing this unpleasant characteristic…
How to Stop Being a Grouch
Like mentioned previously, most grouchy people do not think there is anything wrong with being this way. Sure a grouch knows they don’t have the best attitudes around but if you’re unaware and people are pointing it out to you, maybe you should start paying attention to your attitude.
Now it doesn’t mean you’re a bad person but you should consider being a little more joyful… after all, we all have to do this thing called life together.
A good attitude and outlook on life can go a long way to dramatically improving your happiness. Now being grouchy doesn’t mean you’re unhappy, it may just mean you want to do “you” and other people may not understand this…
If we’re honest, people can be pretty irritating but you can change the way you interact with people…
If you want to stop being a grouch then consider doing the following:
• Face whatever is causing you to have a negative attitude.
• Practice mindfulness (Meditation, yoga etc.)
• Challenge yourself to interact with someone every day and be friendly.
• Make changes in your life if you’re unhappy.
• Talk to someone about the root cause of your grouchiness.
There are many things you can do if you find yourself being grouchy too often. Make necessary changes not only for your benefit but for the benefit of others. No one likes to be around a grouch and it’s certainly not ok to be rude to other people.
Do yourself a favor and fix the problem. Let go of your grouchy behavior and experience what it feels like to have a friendly conversation with someone. Many things can be done but spending time with yourself to meditate or practice mindfulness is a good start to self-awareness.

Is it Ever Ok to Be Grouchy?
Well, keeping your grouchiness to yourself is advised but if you must have a bad attitude, then it’d be best to do it in your alone time. Although, it does create bad habits which carry over into your personal life.
Be easy on yourself and others too because nobody is perfect. Usually, when a person is overly grouchy, it’s a sign that they are not happy with some area of their life. It’s better to take care of your life before you become too bitter.
See a therapist if you have too but just don’t accept the habit of living life with a bad attitude.

Cheer Up, There’s No Need to Be Grouchy…
It’s obvious that we all have different personalities and attitudes but grouchiness is something we never want to make a normal part of our lives. Relationships will suffer and you won’t be someone other people want to talk too.
The most important first step is realizing you’re a grouch but at least if you get this far, you can fix it today!

– Scott Blessing

Emotional health is vital to our physical and mental welfare. According to The American Psychological Association, emotional health can generate a great deal of success with your health, relationships and in the workplace when managed appropriately, but if left unchecked, your emotional health can also lead to a catastrophic event or series of disastrous episodes in your life. Emotional health provides us with the capacity to readily adapt to change and life stresses.
Unfortunately, there are occasions in which one “bad” episode extends into a lousy day that turns into a bad week which may eventually shove us into emotional distress if we do not solve for its root cause.
Here are six signs you are ignoring your emotional health and may be experiencing early signs of emotional distress.
Poor Sleep Patterns. Are you having difficulty sleeping at night? The answer is yes if you find that you wake up more than twice a week. Once you rule out any conditions, illness or disease that may be at fault, it may be time to consider your emotional health status.
Poor Eating Habits. It is natural for some people to turn to food to cope with challenging times. Comfort foods may provide immediate relief, but with time, this practice of binge eating or eating foods high in fat or sugar can create another degree of problems for you including excessive weight gain or illnesses that commonly accompany poor eating habits.
Weight Changes. For some people, the scale is the tell-tale sign that your body may be dealing with the effects of poor emotional health. Some people will see the scale go downwards while others watch helplessly as the scale climbs in double digits. This activity can be the result of poor diet or elevated cortisol levels in the body.
Gastrointestinal Problems. Sometimes, our gut is the first indication that something is not quite the way it should be. From unexplained cramping to diarrhea to constipation, our gastrointestinal system may be your body’s way of raising a red flag that you are in emotional distress.
Inexplicable Pain. Emotional distress may manifest itself in the form of pain.
Mood Swings. Mood swings may accompany moments of emotional distress in which you may be sad one day and easily angered by the smallest thing. Your mood is not predictable and is disruptive to your fundamental functions.
How Can You Improve Your Emotional Health?
There are multiple tactics that you can deploy to address poor emotional health.
The National Institute of Health suggests the following steps can improve your emotional health significantly.

Reduce Stress Levels. Stress is as natural as the air we breathe, but too much of it can negatively affect your emotional health. Look for healthy ways to cope with stress including regular exercise, relaxation techniques, positive thinking and building a support system.
Practice Mindfulness. Mindfulness or the art of being aware of what is happening around you at the moment is useful in enabling you to take yourself off of “autopilot” and focus on the present.
Boost Your Social Connections. Your social network has a powerful effect on the quality of your emotional and physical health. Studies show that social interaction and engagement helps to not only enhance your health but can extend your lifespan. Not sure where to begin with broadening the scope of your social network? Volunteering is an excellent way to get out and mingle with the community. Work on your relationships with family and friends. Learn something new by taking a class. You might even make time to travel and see new places and things.
Get Sleep. Do not sacrifice getting enough sleep. Set a goal of getting a minimum of seven hours of sleep each night. Rest is a vital ally in your quest for emotional wellness. It can aid in improving mental clarity, promote relaxation, and may prove beneficial in helping you to manage your emotional reactions to trying situations or events. Take steps to create a peaceful and restful environment. Put away your electronics before you go to bed. Avoid foods or stimulants that might affect the quality of sleep you can get. Talk with a sleep doctor if you continue to experience problems.
In Summary
In summary, your body may be the first indicator that something is wrong with your emotional health. Do not ignore the warning signs of what your body is telling you. Once you can rule any physical ailments, turn inwardly to examine what is happening mentally and emotionally. Consider getting help if you are unable to stabilize your emotional health.

– Scott Blessing

Procrastination: we’re all guilty of it every once in a while and, when only done occasionally, it’s no big deal. The problem lies, however, in the tendency to turn the occasional procrastination into a habit.

Unfortunately, once you’ve put it off once, it becomes incredibly easy to put it off again. But, once this becomes a habit, major pitfalls can ensue. Below we’ve listed all the pitfalls that can occur from making a habit out of procrastination.

1) Health Issues
Now, of course, if you procrastinate going to the doctor when you know something’s off, it will likely lead to worsened health issues, but that’s not really what we’re talking about here.

Procrastination leads to major stress in your life. You’re stressed to get whatever you put off done in a much shorter timespan; you’re stressed during the time you’re putting it off, thinking about how you put it off instead of taking a much-needed break as you complete tasks.

The more stressed you are, the more chances you have of developing worsening health risks. Stress can be a killer, leading to strokes, heart attacks, and more worsened health conditions. It can also damage your mental health.

Start taking care of yourself and don’t let procrastination become a major habit in your life.

2) Losing Your Job
Procrastination, as you probably well-know, means putting off something you need to do which tends to be something fairly important. The most common areas in which people tend to procrastinate are chores and work.

These tasks are ordinarily tedious and often seem neverending, so we’re inclined to want to put off doing them until it’s absolutely necessary. However, if this becomes a habit, it can have some pretty nasty repercussions.

When you put off your work until the last minute, you’re rushing through it rather than giving it your best effort. This leads to lesser quality work and a lesser product to show for it. You also run the risk of missing a deadline, even if by just a few minutes.

The more you turn in lesser-quality work and/or miss deadlines, the more frustrated your employers will become. This could lead to termination, leaving you without a job or means of an income.

3) Risking Friendships
Procrastination can also creep into the way you treat your friends. If you’re prone to procrastination, you also are likely prone to breaking plans last minute, so you don’t have to go.

You may excuse it as being the fault of bad weather or poor mood, but if you make a habit of this, your friends will stop trying to spend time with you and you may even lose touch altogether.

You may think it’s no big deal to procrastinate seeing them every once in a while, but the more it becomes a habit, the greater the risk of you’re putting your friendship in jeopardy.

4) Missing Out On Important Opportunities
You never know when an opportunity is going to come your way in life, be it romantic or professional, so you always want to be ready to seize them when they present themselves. If you’re prone to procrastination, however, chances are you aren’t ready.

If you procrastinate your work, fixing your resume, or other important things, you won’t be ready to seize any opportunity the moment it presents itself.

Procrastination can also lead to missing important chances to impress others or meet new people, which can cause you to miss out on any potential opportunity that could have come your way during that time.

5) Lower Self-Confidence and Life-Satisfaction
As you can see from the pitfalls listed above, procrastination can cause you to miss out or lose a lot of things. The more you lose or miss out on because of your procrastination, the less happy you will be. This leads to lower self-confidence and overall worse quality of and satisfaction with life.

The more of habit procrastination becomes, the more you’ll start to feel like you’re incapable of getting things done. This can lead to confidence issues and even depression.

Procrastination is a pretty common habit we’re all guilty of every once in a while. While procrastinating in moderation is normal and no big deal, making a regular habit of it can lead to some pretty huge pitfalls if you’re not careful.

We hope this article has helped to inspire you to make a diligent and noble effort of trying to minimize your procrastination.

– Scott Blessing

Learning to deal with your anger is part of maturity and adulthood. It’s necessary to be a successful person, capable of interacting appropriately with others around you and keeping your emotions reasonably in check.

Learning to deal with your anger is not anywhere near as easy as it sounds, however. It takes patience, dedication, diligence, and true effort to handle your angle.

But is all that really worth it? In this article, we’ll explore five of the major benefits of anger management to show you what you can get out of all your hard work and effort.

1) Improved Empathy
Empathy is an incredibly valuable trait in human society. It can help further your career, improve friendships, and improve your romantic relationships. When you work on your anger management, one of the skills you hone is that of empathy.

In order to control and diffuse your anger in a given situation, you have to understand where the other party in the conflict is coming. Once you learn how to successfully place yourself in another person’s shoes, you’ll find yourself in fewer disputes, disagreements, and conflicts.

2) Clearer Judgment
Anger changes the way you think, the decisions you make, and the way you view a given situation. It clouds your judgment terribly, causing you to make poor decisions in the heat of the moment.

When you practice anger management, you channel your anger to keep you calm, allowing your judgment to be clarified. This will help you make better decisions, not say something you’ll regret, and diffuse the situation healthfully and quickly.

Having unclouded judgment is essential to make proper decisions. Clearing up your judgment by preventing it from being compromised by your anger can help you make better decisions in your relationships and in the workplace. You definitely don’t want to make an important decision at work under the influence of anger; that’s how people quit their jobs in the heat of the moment without something else lined up.

3) Improved Communication Skills
A big part of learning to deal with anger is learning to communicate your thoughts, feelings, and concerns. The cause of most disputes and conflicts typically boils down to breakdowns in communication.

By understanding the importance of communicating your own viewpoints and feelings, you’re also gaining understanding and empathy for the other person’s perspective. The more you understand how important it is to the resolution of the conflict, the more you’ll try to understand the other person and push for them to communicate.

Improved communication skills can help improve your life in more ways than just your friendships. Being a better communicator can help you excel in your field of choice, impress your boss, succeed in new opportunities, and even improve your parenting skills.

4) Closer and Healthier Relationships
Those who struggle with anger management tend to push loved ones away. Whether it be by their actions or a conscious effort, they tend to keep people at arm’s length. The better you get at controlling your anger and diffusing problematic situations and conflicts, the better friend you’ll be.

You’ll become a better listener, helping to prevent conflicts or anger from taking over. Your improved empathy will also help you to be more compassionate and understanding with your friends and loved ones in your everyday life, not only in situations of conflict.

You’ll definitely see an improvement in your relationships and may even grow closer to those about whom you care.

5) Decreased Stress
Anger is stressful. Being mad at people and holding grudges causes extra stress and worry that you just don’t need. When you learn to better control your anger and practice anger management, you’ll see a decrease in the number of disputes and conflicts you have, as well as your stress.

Stress can be a killer; it can cause strokes and heart attacks when ignored. By practicing anger management, you can limit your unnecessary stress which may even increase your life’s longevity.

Learning to deal with and manage your anger is an essential part of growing up. You need to have your emotions and anger in check in order to be a functioning adult. However, getting said emotions in check can be a difficult challenge and you might be wondering, what’s really in it for you.

We hope this list has helped to encourage you to pursue working on your anger control or stay on your path to anger management.

– Scott Blessing