Category: EQ4 – ARTICLES – JR

Why Empathy Is Key For Your Emotional and Social Wellness

When you consider what it means to offer empathy, a whole host of actions and feelings probably come to mind. Understanding someone’s suffering or circumstances, feeling sad for another person’s plight, and providing support to those in trouble are all examples of empathy. And, to be sure, this type of reaction and relationship with others is needed more so today than ever before.

The dictionary tells us that empathy is “the action of understanding, being aware of, being sensitive to, and vicariously experiencing the feelings, thoughts, and experience of another.” That definition goes on to include that you can have this connection and understanding even when others have not fully explained their situation to you.

In other words, you are tuned into the plights of others, and you can react in ways that show you understand what they are going through.

But, how does having empathy support your own emotional and social wellness? How can be empathetic make you are a happier, healthier, more well-rounded person?

You Can Be More Accepting of Others

When you have empathy, you recognize that everyone is entitled to their own experiences, that we are all different, and that you cannot change others. Acceptance of others’ differences, views, feelings, and thoughts means you do not judge them for these differences but instead are empathetic to how those differences impact their lives and experiences.

Empathy allows you to see others as unique instead of wrong, to value their perspectives, and to appreciate what you might be able to learn from others, as well.

You Can Give Up Trying to Control Others’ Feelings

It is not possible to tell someone else how to feel, or to control others’ reactions. Everyone has a right to their own perspectives and emotions, and when you have empathy, you are able to see and appreciate this. This acceptance of others’ emotions is the key to empathy, and when you develop acceptance and empathy toward others, you have mastered a vital life skill.

Your Relationships Will Improve

When you have empathy, you learn how to treat other people with the care and compassion you wish others would use when they interact with you. Empathetic people also work to understand and respond to the needs of others, which they, in turn, will likely reciprocate with you.

Empathy helps you deal more effectively with interpersonal conflict, which means there will be less friction and strife with those you care for, and you can even learn how to better motivate those with whom you live and work.

You Can Share More Fully in Others’ Joy

Empathy does not have to be limited to understanding the challenges and turmoils of others. Empathy can also include understanding and responding to the joys and good events in others lives.

Learning to be happy for others is actually a skill you need to practice, as our brains are hard-wired to respond to others’ distress but naturally do not respond as strongly to others’ happiness. But, learning to do this not only helps you connect with others more fully, but it also can enhance your own perspective on your joys and blessings in life.

Final Thoughts

At its simplest, empathy is your awareness of others’ feelings and emotions. This element is key to your emotional intelligence as well as your personal development. Empathy is your link to yourself as well as other people.

Going far beyond sympathy, empathy is our ability to “feel with” someone else, through imagination and personal experience, allowing us to relate to them on a deeper level.

This skill is one that should be cultivated throughout one’s life, as it is essential for personal development.

– Scott Blessing

Shame is a tricky emotion that is filled with complexities. Many may confuse this emotion with embarrassment as the effects are quite similar. Although embarrassment may be a result, shame is a much deeper emotion that can lead to serious self-esteem issues. One counselor describes shame as “inner experience of being ‘not wanted.’

When comparing the difference between guilt and shame, he explains, “guilt is believing that one has done something bad; shame is believing that one is bad.” The difference is stark and can prove to be self-destructive if not handled correctly.

Where Does Shame Stem From?

Shame is a deeply ingrained emotion can begin as early as infancy. If a child is constantly neglected, she may begin to doubt her self-worth. Questions like, “why doesn’t my mother/father want me?” may make them question their value. They may feel not good enough or worthy of real love.

Therefore, love is found in unhealthy ways. Whether it’s abusive lovers, addiction, or even extreme measures, individuals who are experiencing this deficiency may have trouble keeping lasting relationships.

Societal norms can also play a huge role in a person experiencing shame. For example, a child who steals from a candy store may experience shame after being caught being that he knows right from wrong. This feeling of shame stems from in-grained moral codes that have we have been conditioned to follow since childhood.

However, certain feelings of shame are unwarranted. One young woman may be made to feel shameful for her personal choices simply because her parents do not agree with them. Her decisions aren’t hurting anyone, nor are they destructive. They are simply different.

Therefore, the young woman may experience bouts of self-shame while on her journey to self-discovery. Combating those feelings of unwarranted shame can be challenging. However, they can be dealt with effectively.

How to Manage Shame

Unaddressed shame can lead to disastrous results. When your inner core is so damaged that you feel you are bad it affects your behavior, and more often than not this can mean a serious streak of self-destruction. Some of its manifestations include drug addiction, alcoholism, abusive relationships and other forms of self-abusing acting out.

One of the best ways to deal with projected or unwarranted shame is to find your inner voice. Place what makes you happy on the forefront and emphasize that your decision isn’t harmful. This will boost your self-empowerment and allow you to achieve free thinking. All traces of shame will slowly diminish as you begin to strengthen your mind.

If you are dealing with shame from a lack of value, the importance of developing your own source of self-love is vital. In order to do so, you have to highlight the reasons why you are valuable.

Such self-affirmations include:

What makes me different?
What am I good at?
What do I do for others?
Why do I deserve love? Respect?
What can I do to further respect myself?
How can I speak to myself with positivity and care?

Finding the light within yourself takes patience and diligence. If you’ve dealt with a lifetime of feeling unworthy, likely it will take some time to reprogram your thinking. However, understand that it is your personal responsibility to find your value.

Make peace with whoever made you feel less than worthy by open communication or cutting them off. Often times, eliminating the negative source from your life will provide the needed strength to find your inner warrior.

Although shame is a difficult emotion, it can be reversed over time. Everyone deserves to feel loved, respected, and worthy of care. However, you cannot expect others to treat you with those emotions if you do not care for yourself first.

Make self-care a priority and you will soon find the effects of shame will slowly diminish. This will boost your confidence and leave you empowered!

– Scott Blessing

Emotions
We are the sum of our choices. Yet some choices become more prominent than others. They linger on and fester, creating an imbalance in your emotional state.

Your emotions come in a complete range, as described by the American psychologist Paul Ekman who believed that there were six basic emotions – anger, happiness, surprise, disgust, fear, and sadness – which rise up whenever you encounter certain situations, which can be either positive or negative.

Emotions are intoxicating. They can take you over and dictate your outlook on life. When you’re happy, you feel invincible. Everything seems easy and clear. You feel like you can accomplish anything you put your mind to.

Yet when you’re sad, you have no hope for the future. You feel depleted and lethargic, and that everyone is out to get you. It becomes hard to get through the day.

What does it mean to be sad?
Sadness is associated with loss, disappointment, grief, and helplessness. Yet, it’s inevitable. It’s a normal part of life.

There’s nothing you can do to control the circumstances that result in you feeling sad. What you can control, however, is how you deal with your sadness.

You have a choice to dwell, reliving it day in, day out.

Or you can go through the proper steps of grieving to fully heal, coming out stronger, wiser. Even though you may not want to admit it at the time, but sadness defines and builds your character.

It helps you appreciate joy because without going through a bout of sadness, you wouldn’t be able to fully grasp what it means to be truly happy. “We enjoy warmth because we have been cold. We appreciate light because we have been in darkness. By the same token, we can experience joy because we have known sadness,” says David Weatherford, writer and child psychologist.

Sadness may even open up new possibilities you wouldn’t have known about otherwise.

Many people suffer from a great aversion to sadness, and instead of facing it head and dealing with it, they try to eat away, drink it away, or deny it exists. The truth is feelings of sadness will come throughout your life, from many different sources. Learning how to deal with it in healthy ways is the key to ensuring sound emotional and mental health.

The healing
One of the best things you can do when you’re sad is ‘self-care’. We’re programmed to do everything that’s asked of us before we think about our own personal care and health. Young, old, men, and women – we all do it. So, a great way to heal from your sadness, and gain some insight from it, is to do indulge yourself. Here are a few ideas:

• Go on a nature walk. Being outside in the sun, among trees and birds while getting some fresh air is great therapy. It clears your mind, so you think about what’s making you sad from a clearer, more centered perspective. Plus, you get a little bit of exercise which is a great stress reliever.
• Get a message. Massages flush out toxins from your body so you’re left feeling lighter and fresher.
• Find a hobby. Think of a fun activity that makes you happy; reading, knitting, drawing. It’s a great way to relax and get your mind off your sadness.
• Drink up. Make some soothing herbal tea. Hot drinks calm the nervous system and increase focus. Choose an herbal tea that’s known for its calming properties, like chamomile, peppermint or green tea.
Instead of battling your sadness, just accept it. Sadness is unavoidable, but temporary if you deal with it the right way. As the great writer, Khalil Gibran once said, “Sadness is but a wall between two gardens.”

– Scott Blessing

When individuals hear the word joy, the image of wide and bright smiles may initially come to mind. On the surface, happiness and joy may seem synonymous. Although closely related, there is a stark difference between the two, specifically, it is the attitude of choice.

Joy vs. Happiness

One noteworthy essay describes happiness as “depending on external factors to exists.” Therefore, individuals may get into the routine of saying, “When this happens, I’ll be happy.” This if-then mentality sends us into a never-ending cycle of waiting on happiness to fill a potential void. Joy, on the other hand, is more spiritual in nature. In fact, many religious denominations place joy as a sacred or holy emotion.

Something that is seen as a blessing or rewarding occurrence. However, universally, joy is accepted as a choice one makes. Despite various circumstances, whether financial hardships or personal differences, a person who chooses joy still maintains a positive outlook towards the future. Their joy is ever-present and consistent despite situations of despair.

Happiness is often times momentary and matched with a state of euphoria. Within the moment, there are no other negative influences that could drastically impact the level of happiness one experiences. Because of this emotional focus, happiness is only limited to circumstantial occurrences.

How Joy is Life-Changing

Since joy is a choice, this means it takes a concerted effort to achieve. It is quite simple to bask in the stress, negativity, and despair so prevalent in the world today. Certain situations can even make it easy to become victimized. Because of this, learning how to choose a joyous spirit is vital. One simple way to do this is to practice kindness, even when it’s difficult. This is especially necessary for a job where things can get hectic.

Clashing personalities, strict deadlines, and even unmanageable colleagues can make work-life a dread. However, you have the power to remain positive in the midst of negativity. Walk into the office with a smile and strive to be kind to everyone you encounter.

Don’t respond to negativity with combativeness. Instead, find your inner peace that cannot be destroyed. This mentality goes far beyond the office. It transcends to every avenue in life. If you suffer from disappointments, hard times, or failure, try to find the learning experience within.

This will empower you to push forward and find delight in your experiences whether positive or negative. This new mentality is life-changing because it forces you to find the positive in whatever you are handed. Unlike happiness which comes and goes, choosing joy lasts beyond the circumstantial positives. It can help mold and guide you throughout life’s difficulties.

How to Develop Joy

One of the primary ways to develop joy is to find meaning and purpose in everything that you do. This will give you a sense of living as opposed to living for something. One popular news source suggests “connecting authentically” with those around you. As opposed to searching for vanity or the negative, find a way to really get to know those in your sphere of influence. This will help you to develop a deeper human connection.

In addition, remaining humble and grateful are two primary ways to further develop your joy. When you focus on the good that your life has, you have no reason to be down or remorseful. In addition, understanding your limitations in comparison to the huge universe will help you to not take life too seriously. By focusing on heightening your connective awareness, you will be able to develop long-lasting joy.

Joy can help you to serve others, be a better friend, employer, person, and advocate. It provides you with a sense of fulfillment even during harsh times. In order to live a life filled with purpose and sanity, it’s imperative that you learn how to choose joy every day.

– Scott Blessing

How Challenges Serve Your Personal Growth Throughout Life

The obstacles and setbacks that occur in life may seem like negative things you just have to survive, but if you consider them the right way, these challenges can actually help your personal growth during your life. After all, these challenges teach you many essential life lessons, and if you accept them as learning opportunities, you can come out with a better, stronger person on the other side of major disappointments.

The oyster is a perfect metaphor for how challenges can shape you. A tiny piece of sand inside that oyster results in friction and turmoil, but what the oyster creates from this challenge is a beautiful pearl. That little bit of grit is all it takes for something amazing to be created, and the same is true for you. The following are our top eight lessons that life’s challenges can teach you, and how each can help you develop personally in your life.

1. You develop patience.

When you have to endure difficulty and turmoil for extended periods, you can feel frustrated and anxious. But, when you finally come out on the other side and see how far you have come, you understand that sometimes, the best things are worth waiting for.

2. You learn compassion.

When you have to endure pain, disappointment, or uncertainty, you often will develop greater compassion toward others who may be experiencing challenges of their own. This empathy can help you connect with others, which in turn helps you through your own future challenges, too.

3. You better understand your own weaknesses.

Challenges are a great opportunity to learn more about yourself, including where your strengths and weaknesses lie. By using setbacks, failures, and other difficulties to critically examine yourself, you are likely to learn more, to be able to set new personal goals and to grow from these challenging experiences.

4. You gain confidence.

Once you’ve met a challenge head-on and emerged victorious on the other side, you begin to feel more confident in your abilities and strengths. You will feel more prepared for the next challenge in life, knowing you have already bested some tough situations. Without challenges, you never really know what you are capable of doing.

5. You build character.

Moving through life unimpeded does little to teach you lessons or offer you opportunities to grow and change. Challenges create circumstances that test you and provide opportunities to make personal strides, learn new skills, and become a better person. Challenges can teach you strength, resiliency, determination, empathy, and much more.

6. You develop new perspectives.

Challenges have a way of helping you see the world differently. While you can choose to become jaded after a setback, you can also opt to see the world from others’ perspectives, to value the input of others, and to gain insight from the trials and tribulations of others. Those who have endured their own challenges have a lot to teach us and being open to those learning experiences is vital to accepting challenges as a teachable moment in life.

7. You find new depths inside yourself.

Everyday life can force you into acceptance and complacency, but challenges offer you opportunities for gratitude as well as to push yourself in new ways. Failure and setbacks are often where we find just what is really inside of us.

8. You develop humility.

Life’s challenges are the great equalizer, as they force each of us to accept our own weaknesses, mortality, and embarrassments. Surviving these challenges helps you appreciate your good fortune when it comes, and it can be a reminder to yourself to stay humble, as life can change in an instant.

Challenges often help us develop a willingness to see everyone as a possible teacher in our lives, from your most accomplished mentor to a stranger on the street.

The trials and challenges of life are indeed what teach us the most about ourselves. Without these, life is easy, and we operate on auto-pilot within our comfortable bubble of familiarity. But, when we are pushed outside the boundaries of comfort by setbacks and obstacles, we can expand and widen our gifts and perspectives, helping us to grow into better people.

– Scott Blessing

Guilt can be likened to an immense elephant sitting proudly on your chest. It’s ever present and without a doubt heavy. The implicating effects of guilt can be gut-wrenching; even contributing to poor health.

Although the notion that guilt specifically causes common illnesses has not been proven, researchers can agree that stress plays a major role in how our body wards off disease.

Guilt from a decision, past mistakes, or even indulgence can send our mind into a whirlwind of anxiety. In fact, one of the primary signs of a guilty conscious is paranoia.

Shakespeare once quoted, “Suspicion always haunts the guilty mind.” This leads us to the valuable conclusion that guilt is a part of our internal moral code.

How Does Guilt Impact Us?

Although guilt is an unpleasant emotion, it shows that we care about something. For example, if a child cheats on a test and later feels those pangs of guilt, likely he cares about his reputation. In addition, if a wife cheats on her husband and eventually feels guilty, she may care about potentially hurting her husband emotionally.

All of these factors encompass the aforementioned moral code. Without this internal delegation of what is right and what is wrong, humanity would be in a world of trouble. Guilt, in a sense, keeps us from repeating negative actions because we don’t want to have that feeling again.

Guilt impacts our decision making for the better. We may avoid certain situations simply, so we don’t have to go through the guilt process. In a way, past experiences of guilt serve as future protection against unwise decisions. However, like many emotions, guilt can become an irrational monster; negatively impacting our daily life.

When Guilt Becomes A Problem

One of the primary signs of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder is guilt over uncontrollable thoughts. This guilt can last for hours, even months at a time. The person is constantly reliving their unpleasant thought paired with toxic affirmations. This guilt makes them believe that they are innately bad.

This is a prime example of irrational guilt that can disrupt an individual’s happiness. Guilt has its proper place in the world of emotions, and it is vital that we keep it in its place. Sure, eating a delicious chocolate cake while on a diet may cause some instant regret. However, that feeling shouldn’t stay with you for an extended period of time or haunt you; making you think you are a bad person.

When guilt becomes overwhelming, it is best to take a step aside and analyze the situation.

• Great questions to consider are: is this situation really that bad?
• Will I regret this a week from now? A month from now
• Am I hurting anyone in the process?

Likely, you will come to the realization that guilt over mundane things is counterproductive. It may even prevent you from making actual progress in the future.

How to Cope with Guilt

However, there are certain instances that warrant a self-check. If you are experiencing guilt over a past action, one of the best ways to overcome it is to face it. Facing guilt means taking ownership of what you have done and make the necessary steps towards correcting it.

Perhaps that means confessing an unwise decision or talking through a difficult choice. By facing this feeling, you are empowering yourself to overcome the emotion. This will help you to make peace with the situation and ultimately move on. Doing so is essential for achieving overall wellness.

Although guilt is a painful and often times difficult emotion, it is important to human development. By understanding the root cause of your guilt, you will learn to make better choices and effectively deal with guilt in the future.

– Scott Blessing

Frustration can create a cocktail of feelings; from anxiety, anger, irritation, and even regret. This emotion can hit often times without warning and throw an unflattering wrench in your day.

Dale Carnegie once said, “Our fatigue is often caused not by work, but by worry, frustration, and resentment.”

The validity of that statement is immense. Frustration can cause moderate to severe health ailments such as headaches, high blood pressure, and digestive issues.

In addition, excessive frustration can take a toll on your mental state as well. You may experience impaired thinking, high-stress levels, and relentless anger. Frustration is truly something that causes excessive turmoil.

Why is Frustration Common?

When we wake up in the morning, we have a certain expectation of how the day will go. Likely that involves waking up on time, eating breakfast, and not running into morning traffic. However, when something slashes our initial expectations, we experience high levels of frustration. They can be as minimal as running out of coffee or as severe as getting a ticket on your way to work. No matter the circumstances, an expected outcome is the primary bane of our existence.

Expectations are necessary elements of life as they provide a measurable standard that guides us. When things go our way, we are naturally happy. We are able to complete our daily tasks as planned.

However, as much as we rely on our plans, unforeseen occurrences are bound to happen; thus, causing frustration. Because of this chain of events, it is important to develop a healthy view of expectations. By doing so, your frustration levels will gradually decrease, and you will be able to manage minor to severe hiccups.

How to Keep Expectations Healthy

Expectations are unpredictable; which is why focusing entirely on how you foresee a situation to play out is counterproductive. One way to combat this is to understand that our anticipations are not always reasonable.

We naturally want the universe to operate in our favor. But, although we are mighty, we are still minor. Developing a sense of humility will help you to take minor hiccups that occur with a positive attitude. Understanding that not everything will ultimately go our way will make frustration an easier pill to swallow.

How to Manage Frustration

Frustration is one of those tricky emotions that cannot be eliminated. Because life, people, and circumstances are ever-changing, there are bound to be new frustrations daily. Therefore, learning how to control your reactions will play a major role in your overall health.

1. Always Plan Ahead

Even though you can’t plan for everything, always give yourself enough time, preparation, and energy to deal with possible situations of frustration. For example, leave for work 15 minutes early so as to avoid getting stuck in traffic.

2. Learn to Breathe

Effective breathing will help you to remain calm in the midst of chaos. Take a few deep belly breaths for 1-minute continuously. You will notice a complete shift in your attitude and mental stability. This will also give you a chance to think clearly as time goes on.

3. Effectively Communicate

One of the primary effects of frustration is reacting negatively. This may be through intense verbal outbursts or worse, violent actions. Learn how to communicate your needs in a way that will get respected. Never be afraid to kindly express your frustrations with the hopes of reaching a solution.

Although situations of frustration can be, well, frustrating-it’s important to remember your inner calm. Find your own safe space during times of chaos in order to keep your sanity. This will keep frustration in its place and not negatively impact your routine.

– Scott Blessing

Empathy is the ability to understand the feelings and experience of someone else. It moves people to show care and consideration during difficult times. It is how we understand each other on a personal level. Alfred Adler once quoted, “Empathy is seeing with the eyes of another, listening with the ears of others and feeling with the heart of another.”

In order to make valuable, human connections, the emotion of empathy is extremely important. In addition, when we go through difficult situations, we would like for others to empathize and show their concern as well. Empathy is truly one of the building blocks of quality relationships.

Empathy and the Brain

Like many emotions, empathy is initially developed within the brain. A system apart of the cerebral cortex called the supra-marginal gyrus helps to put us in place when we begin to act selfishly. This region is responsible for all feelings of empathy and communicates with a special neurotransmitter called “mirror neurons.”

These tiny forces found within the brain can actually pick up on the emotions of others; thus, making you physically feel how they are feeling. In fact, there is an entire community of empathic individuals who claim to feel the vibrations, energy, and emotions of those around them. Because of their active mirror neurons, being around people for too long can be draining. The power of empathy is truly immense!

The Opposite of Empathy

Since empathy rests on understanding human emotions and displaying compassion, the opposite of empathy is quite intense. Researchers and doctors call this lack of empathy Psychopathy. Movies and books have sensationalized this personality disorder to fit the role of popular villains.

Although there are various levels of Psychopathy, the basis of it is lacking empathy so intensely that they actually imagine inflicting pain. Due to complex chemical interactions found within the brain, this lack of empathy can lead to manipulation, callousness, and even destructive behavior if not dealt with. The grueling impact of a person living without empathy can be dangerous if allowed to fester.

How Can I Develop Empathy?

If you don’t feel intensely connected to the experiences or feelings of others, you are probably not classified as a psychopath. In fact, the average person who has not experienced certain situations may have a hard time empathizing with someone else.

This lack of human connection can be rebuilt through a few personal exercises.

One is asking personal questions to get to know someone. If a person recently experienced a death in the family, ask them to express how that person impacted their lives.

Ask them how they are doing and really pay attention to what they are saying. Another great way to work on developing empathy is to put yourself in the shoes of another person.

For example, imagine a time when you were cold, hungry, or lacking money.

Do you remember those feelings? Now, multiply that times 20 and envision yourself being homeless. This devastating experience impacts a great number of individuals.

Perhaps previously you didn’t feel for their situation. However, when you place yourself in their shoes, you begin to feel compassion for them.

The Beauty of Empathy

Being empathetic is not a weakness. Although this emotion is aligned with sensitivity, there is great strength is acknowledging true feelings. There are great admiration and beauty in making human connections and expressing compassion.

When a person feels empathy for someone else, this moves them to act. It could be in the form of a helping hand or a shoulder to cry on. Nevertheless, empathy is an important emotion to have if we want to keep, maintain, and nurture our relationships.

When you have emotional accountability, you are able to take responsibility for your actions, behaviors, thoughts, and feelings. You own your existence and can accept the role you play in both the positive as well as the negative events in your life. Emotional accountability also means you recognize others are responsible for their own lives, and you cannot solve their suffering.

Emotional accountability is where your thoughts, actions, and emotions converge. When you have emotional accountability, it becomes your obligation or duty to take responsibility for the choices you have made and the consequences of those choices. This responsibility is vital to developing integrity and being autonomous in your own life.

Let’s take a look at how having emotional accountability can help you live a happier, healthier life, along with ways you can work toward being more accountable for yourself.

Taking Responsibility Unleashes Choices

When you are responsible for yourself and your emotions, you find you have many more choices in life. Personal responsibility means you can think, decide, and act upon what you want in life, and you accept that you alone are responsible for your happiness. When you decide to become accountable for your own emotions, your range of choices increases, as you are no longer reliant on others to create your happiness.

Only You Are Responsible For How You Feel

When you recognize that you are in control of your emotions, you can not only accept what is happening in your life more easily, but you also gain autonomy to change your circumstances or at least your reaction to those circumstances. Displacing blame for your emotions on others will not help you heal, does not offer you any path to improvement, and will only ensure that you keep feeling the same way in the future.

You Are Not Responsible For Others’ Emotions

When you try to take responsibility for how others are feeling, you are setting yourself and the other person up for failure. Stop looking for how you can help others feel better, and instead focus on offering support, love, and friendship, which is all you are truly capable of offering.

You Can Express Your Emotions Without Losing Accountability

It is not necessary to complain or blame others for your emotions in order to express how you feel. Rather than telling someone how their actions have made you angry, you can instead accept that your emotions are yours alone, they are not others’ responsibility. This shift can help you talk more effectively and helpfully about your emotions, others’ impact on you, and what you need in your life to help you be happier.

It is possible to tell others how their actions affect you without expecting them to take over the responsibility for how you feel or by giving up the autonomy you have for your own well-being. This focus on accountability allows you to acknowledge and accept the choices you have made, your actions, and how others’ actions are affecting your ability to live peacefully.

People Learn to Trust the Promises You Make

Emotional accountability means you respect yourself and are honest with yourself, allowing you to be more likely to keep your promises to others, as you expect them to keep their promises to you. When you take responsibility for all your actions, you begin to see how your actions impact others, which lead you to become more trustworthy and dependable.

Final Thoughts

Developing emotional accountability is one way you can improve your personal development, with the added benefit that, taking responsibility for yourself means you can have healthier relationships with others. Start today by accepting your own role in your happiness or problems and consider the choices you are making in life that are making you happy, or not.

– Scott Blessing

When you have emotional accountability, you are able to take responsibility for your actions, behaviors, thoughts, and feelings. You own your existence and can accept the role you play in both the positive as well as the negative events in your life. Emotional accountability also means you recognize others are responsible for their own lives, and you cannot solve their suffering.

Emotional accountability is where your thoughts, actions, and emotions converge. When you have emotional accountability, it becomes your obligation or duty to take responsibility for the choices you have made and the consequences of those choices. This responsibility is vital to developing integrity and being autonomous in your own life.

Let’s take a look at how having emotional accountability can help you live a happier, healthier life, along with ways you can work toward being more accountable for yourself.

Taking Responsibility Unleashes Choices

When you are responsible for yourself and your emotions, you find you have many more choices in life. Personal responsibility means you can think, decide, and act upon what you want in life, and you accept that you alone are responsible for your happiness. When you decide to become accountable for your own emotions, your range of choices increases, as you are no longer reliant on others to create your happiness.

Only You Are Responsible For How You Feel

When you recognize that you are in control of your emotions, you can not only accept what is happening in your life more easily, but you also gain autonomy to change your circumstances or at least your reaction to those circumstances. Displacing blame for your emotions on others will not help you heal, does not offer you any path to improvement, and will only ensure that you keep feeling the same way in the future.

You Are Not Responsible For Others’ Emotions

When you try to take responsibility for how others are feeling, you are setting yourself and the other person up for failure. Stop looking for how you can help others feel better, and instead focus on offering support, love, and friendship, which is all you are truly capable of offering.

You Can Express Your Emotions Without Losing Accountability

It is not necessary to complain or blame others for your emotions in order to express how you feel. Rather than telling someone how their actions have made you angry, you can instead accept that your emotions are yours alone, they are not others’ responsibility. This shift can help you talk more effectively and helpfully about your emotions, others’ impact on you, and what you need in your life to help you be happier.

It is possible to tell others how their actions affect you without expecting them to take over the responsibility for how you feel or by giving up the autonomy you have for your own well-being. This focus on accountability allows you to acknowledge and accept the choices you have made, your actions, and how others’ actions are affecting your ability to live peacefully.

People Learn to Trust the Promises You Make

Emotional accountability means you respect yourself and are honest with yourself, allowing you to be more likely to keep your promises to others, as you expect them to keep their promises to you. When you take responsibility for all your actions, you begin to see how your actions impact others, which lead you to become more trustworthy and dependable.

Final Thoughts

Developing emotional accountability is one way you can improve your personal development, with the added benefit that, taking responsibility for yourself means you can have healthier relationships with others. Start today by accepting your own role in your happiness or problems and consider the choices you are making in life that are making you happy, or not.

– Scott Blessing